Coping.

I changed a lot. My biological clock is ticking and it’s nearing the time when I’m ready to truly settle down (this doesn’t mean marriage, it just means easing into my adult life). I’ve been trying to do so for the longest time since I’m not getting any younger. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing though… I feel cuter as I grow older!
Sometimes my “cuteness” isn’t reflected in my disposition given my sullen outlook, harrowed expression, and constant crying. Know that just because someone seems like they are having a good time on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering on the inside; it would be wise to never judge a book by its cover.
I sleep often due to chronic fatigue and sadly, no amount of rest can ever make me feel fully replenished. I don’t have the same energy as I used to so I need more time than usual to mentally prepare for regular tasks. This takes a toll on me physically too. A lot of it has to do with the amount of trauma I’ve been processing since after all, the body keeps score. I’m pretty sure I have some sort of invisible illness that I am not aware of at the moment so I intend to find out later on what that is.
A method that helps me cope with the pain is carefully selecting healthy distractions — one of which would be nostalgic hobbies relating to my love of toys, plushies, and cartoons. I never had a chance to really explore this in the way I wanted to as a child so I figured now that I’m an adult, I have the freedom to do so. Of course, the world is filled with many distractions so it’s important to not get too carried away either. It’s best to recognize if these things are constructive or destructive for you.
While I’m on the subject: don’t go too crazy on Black Friday tomorrow either! A little retail therapy is fine but make sure to prioritize what you need rather than what you want. I know I have to remind myself this whenever I go to Target as well…

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